Follow me on TwitterYes, it has been over a month since my last post. Do you want to know why?
The paralysis of perfectionism. “If I can’t do it perfectly, then I won’t do it at all.”
I know I’ve already told you I’m on a journey to no longer live in the world of perfect, but I find the more public the thing the greater my need to do it perfectly.
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In my first post, I wrote about a “Different Christmas” and how I was trying to approach Christmas differently this year. Well, the day has now come and gone, and for the first time I am actually NOT ready to stop listening to the music and to take down the tree! 2008 may actually be the year I stopped “doing” Christmas and started “getting” Christmas. It finally feels like we may have settled into some new traditions that may just be keepers.
For example, we shared our traditional Italian seafood pasta feast on the 23rd instead of the 24th with our dearest, oldest friends so that we could go to some our of newest friend’s home for Christmas Eve. We gathered there with family and new friends and old and it was wonderful. We shared our Christmas meal with Lynse Leanne and her fun husband Chad and a wonderful friend and her children. Just at the right time, one of friend of Peary’s home from college popped in to share dinner. It was wonderful. After a few games, and a viewing of “Its a Wonderful Life”, we went to bed at 12:30. Wild and wooly for me!
One of the best treats was my sister, Nadine and her husband, Roger, making the 13 hour trip from MD to AL to be with us. And, of course, my parents faithfully travel from MD every year to be with us. And, folks, that’s just love because its an awfully boring drive.
So, back to the point. The “doing” v. the “getting” – although I still had a plethora of checklists – I finally realized that no matter what we did, it was just being together with loved ones that mattered. We could be opening gifts or washing dishes or preparing a meal, but we were together.
At this point, I know you are saying “Wow, she’s slow.” But, I challenge you to think about it – do you “do” Christmas or do you “get” Christmas? Did you enjoy the process as much as the result? Because I think that’s a bigger question than just Christmas –
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Those of you that know me know that I am not a fan or a follower of popular culture and I am not a fan of Oprah. However, I can connect with her recent public struggles with once again regaining the weight she’s lost. I mean if Oprah with her stable of trainers and chefs, can’t stay at a healthy weight, how can I?
In 2007, I gained 20 pounds. In 2008, I’ve lost 35 and gained 20 – do the math. Not good. This isn’t a post about my weight – its about an issue that I keep cycling through – win/defeat, win/defeat. Why are there some issues (exercise and diet for me), that I can’t keep the win?
Would you help me with some strategies that you use to “keep a win” in life issues?
So, what are your strategies for “keeping a win” in your life?
Filed under: Self | Tagged: Add new tag, life issues, Oprah, weight | 5 Comments »
Friday was a very interesting friendship day for me. I began the day having a coffee with a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while. Years ago, our common bond was a friend in common – a friend who had long since abandoned our relationship. And, come to find out, also abandoned the relationship with my coffee friend. For many years, I struggled with constant rejection by our common friend and it hurt. Although I was sad that my coffee friend had suffered as well, somehow, I was comforted by our common rejection. Am I making any sense?
The blessing of the meeting was that my coffee friend reached out to me to say “I value you in my life. Let’s make the connection between us stronger.” Can I tell you how empowering that is? To know that someone would take the time and effort and risk to say “Be my friend.”
Then, later in the day, I had the privelege of spending the afternoon with Lynse Leanne, who has been encouraging me to blog. Well, like my coffee friend, she encouraged me with more than just words, she encouraged me with actions – like sitting at my kitchen counter and birthing this blog.
So, Friday – two great women in my life investing time in me and empowering me to be a better friend and a better communicator. I want to be an empowering friend like that.
Tell me about the friends and people who have empowered you.
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Well, one year ago, during the 21 day fast at Church of the Highlands, I felt like it was time to start a blog. I’ve just so much to say and not enough people to listen. So, at the regular prompting (er, nagging) of Lynse Leanne for the last 11 months, I am finally getting started. I heard once that perfectionists are the greatest procrastinators – that describes me! I’ve been stuck in the world of “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it.” Thus, the 11 month delay in blogging.
A part of my journey has been learning to live not in “the world of perfect”, but in the world of normal.
Fast forward to today – the busiest time of year for a mom – Christmas. I’m trying to overcome the idea that it’s my job to produce the perfect Christmas for my family. Now that Peary will be leaving for college in 2009, I’m doing things differently to enjoy the time at home.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Christmas, Family, Perfection | 8 Comments »
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